St. Patricks Cricket Club Inc. Albury

Communiques From Kane

29/4/2003
Just letting you and the boys that I have arrived safely and have only now had to sit down and review the events of the past week After leaving Melbourne 1am Wednesday, a 7 odd hour flight saw me arrive to a sultry Singapore at 6.30am (the maths just never added up). A very eerie place at the moment.
I must give praise to Home hardware as the $2 dust mask effectively got me through the country without contracting SARS. It was either that or the VB that kept the virus at bay. So after 2 hours rest I jumped on another plane and 14 hours later (we had to tiptoe around Baghdad) I arrived in London to see Troy there waiting for me.
We had arranged to stay with Des Royal overnight at Wimbledon, which was great to see him, with his house about 10min walk from the hallowed lawn. "Naughto (as Shano would say) there's no reason why the new Xavier oval shouldn't be the same"!!.
So after 48 hours with only three hours sleep and 20 hours straight of daylight, I crashed into bed about 9. We got up early next day to see a few sights in town, and after walking around West End, Regent Street, Trafalgar Square, Picadilly, etc. we arrived back at Kings Cross to realise we hadn't left enough time to get the underground back to Heathrow to catch our bus to Leeds. I should have known as Monopoly is a bloody slow game to play.
So we decided to sacrifice the bus and take a train from Kings Cross to Leeds, slightly more expensive but in hindsight an inspired choice as it was a lovely way to see the countryside. We were met at Leeds station by my captain, Garry, and after another hour or so in the car arrived at Barton upon Humber about 7pm Thursday.
And what a place. With a population of about 12,000, it is everything I have imagined and more. I am living with Birchy about five minutes from the main town in Barrow, a town of about 1,000. He is a great bloke, he is very involved with the club, coaches juniors, runs social functions, etc. Basically he is Barton's version of Trout, except you just add beer. We have had a couple of good nights already, and with about 14 pubs around have seen most of them already.
Cricket didn't go too well on Saturday, but the ground is huge and lightning quick, think Tallangatta but greener. The pitch was pretty wet early after rain the day before, but I managed to squeeze out 9 overs 0/34. I wasn't too disappointed as I felt like going to sleep at lunchtime and have done every other day since I've been here. I then batted at no. 4 and after struggling to come to terms with the seaming deck smashed one of the biggest sixes seen at the ground.
The bowler then tried to bounce me which ended up being down leg side for an easy pull shot over square leg (obviously fast bowlers think the same everywhere). After being warned for intimidating batting by the umpires and a few more fours, I finished with 33 and we fell about 50 runs short of 192.
Anyway, better go, I promise the next few emails wont be as long. Hope everyone is well.
Just a few quick ones:- -
Ask Naughto if Tallangatta are still certainties -
Tell Furzey big arties big in Barton -
Tell Drummo the newsletter here comes out monthly and is 10 pages -
Tell Phantom and Starry we have a race night booked in already -
Say g'day to everyone else. Go Vikings, Kane .

6/05/03
G'day there, Just a quick one, have to get off the net. Won cricket on the weekend in footy weather (Micky Brennan would kill them in the wet here).
Went to Doncaster races today as it was a public holiday - Frankie Detorri is a rock star here - he arrives at the course in a chopper. Unfortunately only one winner, on a horse named Carlton, which was ironic as that name isn't winning much at home.
There was a jockey named J Edmunds, but he only rode the last two races (I'm assuming he was at the bar or the tote for the others).
I have a new nickname - Harry - bloody poms haven't told me why yet but I'll keep you posted. Talk later, Kane.
PS - Mroz - you would love it here. I went to a pub in Leeds where they sell Tooheys Extra Dry 2 for the price of 1. Even the poms think it tastes crap!!

11/05/03
Mate, those pommy bastards better have a good reason to call you Harry, or there may be a St Patrick's Jihad declared, lead by Starry. "He who is the giver of nicknames" is not to be trifled with - Chuck
Have to be quick as we have a Sunday game on shortly. I have more news on the nickname. After some consultation, some thought it may have been after other famous Harry's in this country, namely Harry Kewell and Rolf Harris. But the guy who gave me the name attributes it to a TV ad that used to come on here, with a character named Harry the Spider (UK version of Louis the Fly I guess). Apparently as the ad goes Harry the Spider has a coming out party where he spins his web, which is what they are hoping I'll do at some stage (getting there, 4-49 off 19 yesterday is better). Quite clever I suppose, so you can tell Starry to relax. Will talk more later.

17/05/03
Chuck/Ken, Good to see Ken is OK. Must admit to a sick feeling after hearing the news on the radio. Only trouble is, the poms were only concerned about how many of their own were injured. Good to hear KG Rayner is OK, mystery shouts will survive more than that!!
I am doing ok, saw Chuck noticed the 'hunji', the ground was a postage stamp but I'll take it being the first. The poms can't believe I bat 9 for St. Pat's, I agree with them Rowdy!!! It's a bit like Culcairn not believing Furzey doesn't bat 4!!
Anyway, good to hear Ken is OK, keep me posted.
I had my own international incident with a division 3 play off between Scunthorpe and Lincoln. About 12,000 people at the game in a town of 40,000 which they could have sold out twice over. Amazing, but brawls and 200 odd coppers at the end was interesting. They segregate the crowd and lock in the away supporters for 20 mins so the home team leave at different times. Sounds like a usual Albury vs Lavy game eh?? Not quite, but a great experience nonetheless. Luckily they don't take their cricket as seriously.
Better go, 2am and have a game tomorrow, been watching Hawthorn lose again on the highlights they show here. All I can respond with is 'GO LEEDS'

2/06/03
Hello all, Well it's taken four weeks but I sit here writing this email in shorts and t-shirt as the temperature has finally nudged over 20. Cricket was a humid 25 yesterday and we won pretty easily, bowled them out for 130 and passed them 3 down. I had a pretty quiet day, 2-23 off 12 and not required to swat. A good team effort though.
Bit of a sore head as we went to the Barton Beer festival to drink winners you know what- which runs over three days once a year. Basically - you buy a pint glass and some tickets and then you enter a huge hall and have the choice of about 50 real ales. It was packed and some beers were interesting, eg. the Oakham Jeffrey Hudson Bitter - which includes grapefruit and Kiwi fruit. One thing they all had in common though - they were all warm and all tasted ordinary. I was trying to be polite and drink most of them, but the locals agreed it was cat's you know what also which was a relief.
A good week last week, with a loss on Saturday and a close win Sunday, I managed to score 58 no and 46, with one and three wickets respectively. Sunday was a bit of a farce, with my first taste of Yorkshire pudding - I didn't realise you could play on a pitch that splashes water when the ball bounces. Anyway, with a lot of cat and mouse and rain delays we managed to come away with the points at 8.45pm. One positive was the blossoming of my Wasim Akram left arm around medium pacers. The ball was too wet to bowl spin, and getting a Paki out chopping on was nice, obviously beaten for pace - or lack thereof. Tell Naughto and Furzey to stay tuned.
I am now working for Volvo four days a week. Before you start picturing the old geezers in the funny hats, it is the construction equipment division, not cars. Think Tonka trucks but bigger. My job is to get them as clean as possible before they leave the yard to be sold. Not hard work but long days with me leaving home at 6.30am and getting home 12 hours later. I had to create my own business name to work as a contractor, so I am managing director of 'Oz Wash'.
Had a good social function last weekend, with a race night down at the club. Basically they show video footage of horse races, and before they run you get an opportunity to either own, jockey or simply punt on a horse. A very fun night with the crowd getting right into it. Besides that the club made over £1000 for not much work. Troy came across from Leeds for the night which was good, he seemed to be enjoying himself when he was dancing on a chair to the tune of the "Holy Grail". I have introduced a bit of Aussie music already, with mixed results. They don't quite get Jimmy Barnes (pronounced Bar-ness here).
I only backed one winner on the horses, with me being the winning owner of Drunken Lady ridden by Mickey Finn (Scottish slang for gin). I wonder if that's how the Ingham's started out?? I am getting some digital photos through so I will forward on when they arrive.
I am going to the Durham Test to see the Poms take on Zimbabwe this Friday, can't wait. Just keep an eye out in the crowd for the Aussie in the Hawthorn jumper (it's the only place in the world I can wear it with pride at the moment).
There is about 11 from the cricket club going by train, so it should be a great day. I'm just reading through the rules and regulations the ECB send out with the tickets - very amusing - I'll attach underneath. I'll let you know how it all goes next week.
Anyway better go, Chuck - can you pass on to those logging on to the Barton website that it will be out of action for a while. The webmaster, James, is having problems with his service provider. He was pleased with the correspondence he was getting from a lot of Australians - he enjoys the dirt on me to rib me on Saturday's. Whoever told him about my Neil Diamond karaoke act will be dealt with when I get home!!
I secretly think he has pulled it as the sixes comp is all but over. He has changed the rules so that international players must have their own comp, with an English one for everyone else in the team. Hope everyone is well and will send more through later - keep the news from home coming - unless it's AFL, I appreciate any other news. Cheers, Harry (Kane)
ECB PROHIBITED ITEMS
The following items are prohibited and may not be brought into the ground:
a) Glass bottles (fair enough)
b) Glasses (pity if you are in the back rows)
c) Flagpoles (damn, mine would have fit in my backpack too)
d) Masks (have to leave my Andy Caddick ears and Nasser nose at home)
e) Knives and other offensive weapons (beware of men with beards in big overcoats)
f) Flares (no jeans)
g) Sticks and poles (going to make it hard for the bowlers with no poles and batsmen with no sticks)
h) banners (Flintoff fan club will have to stay home)
i) fancy dress or oversized headwear (chicken suit stays home too)

7/06/03
Hello all, Just a quick note to fill you all in on the happenings from the first new Test Cricket venue in England in 101 years - Chester le Street in Durham.
What a beautiful oval, it sits right in the middle of a golf course and sporting complex, with the Lumley Castle as a backdrop providing a stunning view. I went along with about 10 of the lads from the cricket club and had a great day with them. They were going to give me the new nickname 'Chester', but after I explained that Chester was a slang term used to describe certain undesirables back home they decided against it. I got a good photo of a sign outside a pub near the ground called the 'Chester Moor' - advertising 'Fine ales, beer garden, children most welcome'. As Rove would say - What the??
We went for the second day and were bathed in beautiful sunshine all day. It is tradition to fancy dress for Test matches here, so I thought my Hawthorn jumper would be pretty unique - besides, it's the only place in the world I can wear it with pride at the moment. The novelty wore off after 10 minutes when a bloke in a Geelong jumper waltzed past, couldn't believe it.
It was a great atmosphere, with most people in the crowd being from Newcastle. They are very hard to understand, to someone like me they sound Scottish, and are very fun people. So you can tell Furzey that after his wedding I am in rare company of mixing with people from Newcastle UK and Newcastle NSW in the space of 5 weeks.
The one thing that stood out was how accessible the players and VIP's were to the general public. The nets were just behind the stand and players basically mingled with the public after having a hit. Just as we arrived to the ground I was standing next to an nice old English chap watching a few of the Pommy lower order having a 'net', when I realised only as he left it was Dickie Bird, the famous Test umpire. I was kicking myself that I wasn't quick enough to get a photo with him. I am about half way through reading his book at the moment too which probably made me even more of a dill not recognising him sooner.
Oh, well. Still, I got some fantastic photos, trotted out the old line 'I'm from Australia' to get into the members, the attendant was very nice and he asked which part of Australia I was from, because he'd just been there to a place called Wagga and wanted to know if I knew of it. Well, after I explained Albury was only an hour away by car, he was more than helpful. It really is a small world. As a result I stood taking photos from about a metre away as the players walked out onto the field at the start of play.
The atmosphere is more relaxed than Aussie grounds, with all staff at the ground happy to help and uphold the responsibility of promoting the game of cricket. Those buffoons who take their job way too seriously at the MCG, SCG, etc. should take note. I guess being the first Test at the ground they were keen to make a good impression, which was much to my advantage.
To my knowledge I was one of only three Australians at the ground. Two of us had quite a few beers and the other one was a total disgrace. So between myself, Michael Slater and Darrell Hair I'll let you work out who did what. I will add though that Darrell Hair is still my most despised umpire - and seven LBW decisions in an innings upheld his showboating style. The fact six of them were plumb is not the issue!!
Oh, by the way, Slats says to tell Naughto he still has nightmares from when Naughto bowled him out for a duck earlier this year. Luckily we have no Saturday game but play a cup game on Sunday, which will be a 40 over slog. Will keep you posted.

25/06/03
Well I apologise for my absence for a while, but you have to understand I have come under enormous fire over the past few weeks. No, I have not offered my services to help the US in Iraq, it's much worse than that.
I am under severe fire by a liberated sporting nation known as England. Australia has managed to supress this sort of boasting for more than 50 years, but it seems the tide may be turning. And I am right in the lions mouth to see it happen.
Fair dinkum, as if it wasn't bad enough watching the Wallabies lose in Melbourne on Saturday morning (in the rugby union) and getting sledged by both opposition AND teamates at cricket, which we lost (I did ok, 1 for 66 off 18 bowling, 45 batting), but then Lleyton Hewitt loses on the first day of Wimbledon, apparently opening the door for annual 'certainty' Tim Henman.
It's gone as far now as my teamates believing they are also the No. 1 cricket nation, as they are undefeated in Tests this year.
I had been asked a couple of weeks ago to name 10 sports that Australia were better at than England. And in the space of 2 days 2 out of my top three are shot to pieces. The Poms reckon all they have to do now is cut off Thorpey's feet to claim world sporting domination. I mean, as they tell me, they are already worldbeaters in darts, snooker and figure skating, and unfortunately with these sports taking up most of the airtime I am struggling to come up with ten. So any help would be appreciated (and Aussie Rules doesn't count apparently).
Actually, it's got that bad that some bloke married to Posh Spice who captains England's soccer team has had to leave for Spain as he can feel the surge of expectancy. I'm not too sure of the details, as there has been very little media coverage of the events (not!). Ironically, Australia's piss poor soccer team is the only nation to defeat England this year, which is still a sore point.
On a more local front, been fairly busy working and saving money as have a few things coming up in July. Had a nice visit from refugees Mr. and Mrs. Briggs who seemed tired as they were nearing the end of their travels, but loving every minute at the same time. Who would've thought that a pub in Nth Lincolnshire would be discussing the Jindera FC's form (which I hear is improving every week, keep it up). Looking forward to seeing Karen in July, as well as Renee. Will also have a guest appearance from cousin Chris and his wife Belinda as they charge up the centre of England on the way to Scotland.
Will keep you posted as more news comes to hand.

3/07/03
Well an interesting weekend to say the least - Saturday we played one of the top sides at home in one of the most interesting games I have played. After batting our way to 160 odd (I contributed a magnificent golden duck), we had them on the ropes at half way, 6 down and needing 8 an over to win.
Well, they got a partnership going, and it came down to the last 2 overs. They were still six down needing 4 to win. I got the honour (?) of bowling the second last over and after bowling the guy who was slogging us, managed to keep them to one run. So our express medium slow Rich Stanley was left with the last over which went - dot,run out, two, dot,dot, bowled.
An amazing game with a lot of spectators left scratching their heads at how two teams can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat from each other and end it in a tie.
Sunday was a friendly match against a team called Cuxwold on the strangest ground I have ever seen. It was basically part of a paddock, with at least a 10 foot hill sloping straight down to the pitch, and with what can only be described as a bunker at mid wicket! Beautiful surface nonetheless, and after the blob on Saturday I was keen to make amends with 102no.
I hear you say it wasn't a serious game, but I can tell you it tested my powers of concentration to the limit after they supplied us with Carlsberg for arvo tea and had rabbits coming out of the woods to make the most of the sunshine - ah the serenity. As the boys put it, you could just picture William Wallace charging over the green fields - if not for the powerlines.
Better go, I am relying on the Scud to restore the pecking order in world sport after a bad fortnight for the Aussies. Azz has informed me Australia has beaten England in a five test series of Lawn Bowls, that will go nicely with Wimbledon.

7/07/03
Hello all, Just a quick one to let you know that we played the same team as we tied with again this weekend and after another tense struggle we came out on top in the last over of the match at 8.45pm in light drizzle and near dark conditions.
After restricting them to 177 all out on a very damp pitch, we suffered a poor start to our innings, and at 5 for 85 with 17 overs to go all seemed lost. So as I usually do decided to go down swinging and eventually latched on to a couple.
After a few big overs, we still needed 80 off the last ten overs in poor light and on a wet pitch. But I found a couple of allies in the lower order in Bouldy and Will who batted superbly and we winged our way to the total with two balls to spare.
I managed to do a Michael Bevan and end up protecting my average whilst giving the strike to my team mates to end up 70 odd not out. A very exciting game and one I'll remember for a long time. The fact our team hadn't beaten the opposition on their home ground for years made it even more satisfying and a great team effort.
We had a good night in Hull afterwards as the guys in my team are starting to enjoy the taste of Winners Piss. So after two heartstopping games we have a long awaited bye next week, going to spend it in Leeds to celebrate Troy's birthday.
Watching the Scud at the moment, he is struggling so I better go and offer my moral support.
Too late he got done in three.
Bugger.

19/07/03
Sorry for my tardiness of late, but I had last weekend off cricket and really tied one on (so all you girls can relax, no cricket jargon, well not much).
Anyway, just gone through all your emails. Thanks for the news, really does help keep the homesickness at bay. Briggsy and Darn - hope Sydney is just as good as Barton, and the beds are big enough!! Gayle and Andy - thanks for the email, don't believe anything Thomo tells you!! Kenny,Kenny, Kenny - Congratulations to you and Faruje (I'm only guessing the spelling) - I hope he has his mothers looks!! Bradsy - great jokes keep em coming!! Vancey - I am still in the country and you know you are not safe from a real hangover until I leave!! And to everyone else thanks very much.
We had a great weekend in Leeds. Unfortunately my timing was about as good as usual with Aussie Harry Kewell (and ex Leeds player) signed with Liverpool 2 days before I hit town. But it was my brothers birthday and after missing it last year I would walk over hot coals to celebrate (that and the cheapest pints in England - thanks East Leeds CC). Anyway, about 8 Barton boys came accross with me, including Will who is coming to play for Patties this season. He bowls smoke, and has the strongest throw I've ever seen, but is basically over to learn, will probably play mainly seconds (until Furzey gets injured or has a bahmitzvah to go to). Hopefully, as he has no coaching, he will learn off the likes of Furzey, Naughto, Chuck, Westy, and Marty G about fast bowling. And if they feel they need to teach him a few fast bowlers habits off the field, so be it.
Seriously though, he's a great bloke who will slot in well, so put the feelers out for accomodation. If it helps convince your better halves, he's very easy on the eye too, ladies. Anyway, I'll leave that with Chuck and the committee.
So, back to Leeds, the Barton boys presented Troy with a Liverpool jersey with 'Kewell 7' on the back, which was hilarious amongst his cricket club friends. Unfortunately after a few birthday beers though Troy put bravery in front of better judgement and decided he should wear the jersey out to the niteclub. Luckily big brother was there to sort him out - I wasn't in Leeds for a Liverpool kiss (that's a headbutt for you girls), that's for sure. So we stuck on to watch Troy battle to 40 runs in scorching heat (26 here is a heatwave), I was very proud of his innings as he managed not to park the tiger (spew) for the entire innings. We came back to Barton for our own club's country and western night - unfortunately the act knew nothing of Slim Dusty or Lee Kernaghan - but - I do have the boys word perfect on John Williamson's True Blue - classic.
Sunday we went to Hull to watch a charity 20twenty game (a new innovation over here - 20 overs a side cricket).
It was Yorkshire vs The world on a soccer ground with a pitch that looked like they found it in someones hallway (maybe the Turf?). The world had Richie Richardson, Jimmy Adams, Craig McMillian amongst others, but the man I went to see was none other than M.Waugh. Unfortunately, he bowled 1 over for 25 and made 5 with the bat - so after copping heaps from my Pommy teammates - I hit back with 'at least you got an Aussie that can take wickets and make more runs than Mark Waugh has in Hull'.
Unfortunately, that doesn't really wash. I sat behind his wife for the second innings.
On the agricultural front (it's not ALL beer and cricket) I saw a hedgehog on the way home from the pub last night. He told us it was pretty quiet and we were better off turning round and going home. Seriously though, a strange animal and as usual we have something better in Australia - an echidna would eat a hedgehog for breakfast!! Mind you, I wont be eating anymore hedgehog slice for afternoon tea whilst I'm still here.
I have located an Aussie Rules ball and have converted the juniors - they are intrigued with the handball skill - and I'm meant to be teaching them cricket!!
Karen and Renee fly into Manchester Monday week and I must admit I can't wait. It's frustrating sometimes having such a great experience and not having someone to share it with, so it will be great to introduce Karen to all my new friends. The same day, Chris and Beinda will be darting through the north on their way to Scotland. So a busy week ensues but I have conned the boss of 'Oz Wash' to give me the week off work so will be a memorable few days I'm sure.
Then on the Friday we are off see Robbie Williams with about 80,000 of his other mates in London so it's gunna be a big week in football. Anyway, better go, it's Friday night past midnight and we have two games this weekend, and I am watching Oasis on MTV. Hope everyone is well and will check in again soon. Cheers, Arry (Kane).

5/08/03
Sorry it's been a while but it's been a pretty hectic couple of weeks. I will start from the beginning:- Cricket was terrible weekend before last - we got bowled out for 74 and lost - chief destroyer was a Paki named Saeed Ajmal - remember that name. He was an U/19 rep for Pakistan last year and he is way below his level in our league.
It was a good challenge facing a quality spin bowler though - he spun it both ways!! Mind you, he asked me for a few tips after the game because he had trouble picking my arm ball from my straight one (that's two deliveries that both DON'T spin!).
We played again on Sunday with only moderate improvement, this time managing 180 but still not enough. But then - following Saturday is one I'll never forget. After my poor weekend the week before, our captain Garry thought it wise to elevate me to no. 3. End result was Barton 6-242, K. Arendarcikas 161 not out, 139 balls, 21 fours, 2 sixes. Or something to that effect.
Anyway, the important thing is we won, and I finished with a couple of wickets to help out new St. Pat's recruit Will Yates rip the heart out of the opposition and take 7/31. The other note is that the pitches are getting harder. After standing at first slip for most of the year chewing gum and not much else, I was called upon to take 3 catches to round off a nice days cricket.
And Chuck, tell Naughto and Furzey that the hands stung a bit more than when I take them off their bowling, hee hee.
So still on cloud nine, I decided Barton wasn't big enough town to celebrate, so on Sunday Troy, myself and his East Leeds team mate Jon took a trip to a quiet little town called Manchester. First pub we went to they asked if I had heard of Drasko Kristo (after knowing he lived here for a while I said no as I can imagine he had enough time to be barred from most hotels in Man City).
So after a tour of Old Trafford, home of Man United, we had a late night (found another karaoke - "Sweet Caroline" in Manchester, Leeds, and Barton and still counting) and early rise to pick up refugees Karen and Renee from the airport. At 7am, we didn't know who was worse for wear, the girls or me and Troy.
So it was back to Leeds to run into more refugees in our cousin Chris and his lovely wife Belinda. They are on a mini world tour, and spent a few days with us which was great. Saw Macca (Sam McDonald) too, he is still enjoying his drinking, er, cricket, and met Mark Webber at the grand prix the other week. So no sooner had we got back to Barton to let Karen meet the locals and settle in than we were off to see what in my opinion was one of the highlights so far. Robbie Williams at Knebworth (near London), in front of what I thought was only meant to be 80,000.
Turned out 125,000 decided  he was worth seeing, and it was HUGE. We drove three hours to get within 10 miles of the venue, only to queue for 4 more hours to get in the car park. But what a spectacle, Knebworth is a field with a Castle as a backdrop, and has been a concert venue for 20 years. Bands such as Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, and more recently Oasis have all played there.
But the concert we were at broke all records, and you could really feel that you were part of something to remember for all time. He did 3 shows over the weekend and cracked the 100 grand each night, which is unheard of in this country. We got home at 4am and I don't know how I managed cricket on Saturday (the adrenalin must still have been pumping - managed 44 and 1 wicket but lost again).
Sunday we went to beachside town Cleethorpes to watch a county one dayer between Lancashire and Nottingham. Lovely little ground and great view - SCG MacGill got belted everywhere by Stu Law and Carl Hooper - good to see I'm not the only Aussie spinner losing cricket balls over here.
So that's it - until next time.

18/08/03
Hello all, Well I thought things would be a bit boring the past 2 weeks since my last email after the Robbie Williams show and the 160 odd I made the other week, but things just keep rolling on.
Our cricket has been going great the past two weeks, with another two wins on the board. We played in 32 degree heat last weekend and a lot of players from both sides were finding the going tough. St. Pat's recruit and Barton opening bowler Will Yates was suffering from a big night before, and after the skipper informing us we were bowling first he was not amused.
As Furzey and Naughto know, I normally stand at 1st slip for the first 10 overs on hot days before egging the fast bowlers on with, 'don't you just wish it was hotter?'. Unfortunately Will couldn't see the funny side until about 3 pints and a win later.
I did OK, 2 wickets doing the sorbent (Sarah, that means cleaning up the tail - ie last 2 batsmen) and 65 not out was a good day. Last Saturday I managed 4 wickets, which my teamates were really pleased with as they got me here to bowl - but the pitches are only starting to harden up - pity theres only 4 games to go.
But, after being set a sizable 245 off 48 overs with a few batsmen out of our team, I managed to support our opener Kippers after being 2/40 odd and needing 7 an over for 20 odd overs, to passing the total with 6 overs to spare. He batted really well (another lefty, but can hit through the covers along the ground - sacrilege!) for his hundred not out, and when it became apparent we needed 8 to win and I was on 90 he was kind enough to help me to my ton. Unfortunately, I nearly messed it up by hitting a six, single, only for Kippers to hit a single back.
So with the scores tied and with the rules saying the game stops as soon as the score is passed, I felt comfortable in knocking a single to win rather than trying to slog a four to bring up the ton. But Steve Waugh's last ball ton at the SCG against England earlier this year crossed my mind, so I thought stuff it, we'd had such great fun chasing down a big total, why not go out with a bang.
Luckily the bowler accomodated with a full wide one (I think he was looking to bowl a wide, he had no sense of theatre, but unfortunately he forgot left handers don't leave them ones) and I managed to caress it over cover for six to end an exciting day.
Luckily, and gladly, Karen was there to witness it which I was happy with as she was dubious when emails about my batting were coming through most of the season.
Anyway, I am going to go close to winning the league batting average if I keep this form up, not bad considering my resume says a bowler who bats a bit. My captain, Garry, still thinks he picked up the wrong player at the airport!!
As if that wasn't enough, 12 merry men from Barton went to Sherwood Forest country (Nottingham) to watch the second day of the South Africa/England Test. A marvellous ground, I emphasise GROUND as even though it holds 30,000, it still has to be the only true cricket ground of it's size in the world (as compared to a revamped footy stadium). A truly wonderful place to watch cricket if you ever get the chance.
Magic weather, plenty of runs, wickets, beers,and I managed to get in the members again to photograph the players as they walked out for the second test in a row. A little altercation late in the day when I threw a banana at a guy in a monkey suit was purely incidental to what a fantastic day I had.
Troy has booked us into Headingly next Friday also, so three Test matches in a season is more than any visitor can ask for, and I am eternally grateful for those who have given me such wonderful opportunites. Stay Tuned Kane.

27/08/03
Hello there, A very busy week, 2 games of cricket on the weekend and we had a winning draw in both. Got 38 and 61 n.o so the form is still OK, and managed a few wickets also.
Went to Headingly on Friday, another great day of Test Cricket in the sun, only to see the Poms belt South Africa all over the place before accepting bad light with an hour to play. Seriously, I couldn't see Hayden and Langer doing the same, and from that point I think they let the Springboks back in the game.
Got some great photos again, and it was good to see Troy and Sam again. Another bonus was introducing Will to VB before he comes to Australia. Let's just say after about 6 samplers he will do fine. As for me, 1st VB in 5 months was like drinking nectar of the gods.
The last couple of days have been busy, I went to watch Leeds United play Southampton Saints with 35,000 others last night. A great atmosphere but a nil all draw was a bit frustrating. But a great experience of Premier League soccer nonetheless. Viduka is a tank in the flesh, could get a game at Hawthorn standing strong in the goalsquare!! I must admit though, when the away supporters started singing 'When the Saints go marching in' my St. Pat's instincts were to join in, but thought better of it sitting in the middle of 10,000 Leeds fans.
Today I have hit the public speaking circuit, just having given an after dinner speech to 40 odd retired Barton businessman who meet under the Probus banner once a month. A fantastic afternoon as I was the youngest there by 40 years, and to pick their brains on local history and the second world war was truly amazing for me. All those History lessons with JW Exton have stood me in good stead to have an interesting discussion. They were all very welcoming, and were very interested in Australia, mind you I felt a bit left out without a tweed coat!!
Anyway, so much to do, so little time. Three weeks to go before myself and Karen head off a five week tear around Europe - and I thought it couldn't get any better just being here!! Stay tuned, Kane

14/09/03
Hello all, Well it's been a week of mixed emotions which began at Big Ben on Monday and finishes with me sitting here nursing a Big Hangover, so I will try to recount events as best I can.
Myself and Karen went to London for a few days to do the tourist thing, and what a great time. In no particular order, we saw Big Ben, the London Eye, Tower Bridge, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, Tower of London, Royal Albert Hall, Harrods, Wimbledon, West End Theatre and Lords. All wonderful places and spent the whole week pinching myself as it's still hard to believe we are actually in England.
No prizes for guessing, but Lord's was my favourite, but for a fairly unique reason. I saw the Ashes (couldn't swipe them to bring them home) in their museum, and signed the Register on behalf of the St. Patrick's CC Albury. The highlight was in the Long Room where the players have to walk through to get on to the field, and as I stepped outside on to the lower members stand I passed Stuart Macgill in the doorway who was nice enough to say hello. He was playing a game for Nottinghamshire that day, and I thought it fitting that a great NSW spinner and and an ordinary NSW spinner were to meet in the doorway of the most famous entrance in cricket. I will let you work out who was who.
So after returning home very tired, spent Friday relaxing and getting my head around the fact that I was to play my last game ever in England. Unfortunately there was no fairytale finish, we were skittled (that means bowled out Sarah) for an embarrassing 48 with myself making a glorious 0 and taking only 1 wicket for plenty
. It was hard not to let emotions get in the way, and after leaving the clubrooms at 4.30am after a wonderful Millionares Night (club function involving Monopoly money and Roulette etc), I still find it hard to believe it's all over. I take comfort in the fact I've made so many friends who I'm sure we'll keep in touch for years to come, and maybe even come back to visit again one day.
To soften the blow, I have stolen their fast bowler Will, and I only hope he enjoys his time in good old Albury at least half as much as I have enjoyed Barton, and then it will be well worth it. On top of that, my landlord Birchy is coming to Australia for the New Year which will be fantastic, so it's not goodbye forever.
So we leave for Scotland in our little bomb for a week, then back to Barton for one last pub crawl, then it will be Ireland for a week, France, Germany (where I will be meeting relatives for the first time, can't wait), Italy, London again, before a few days on the Greek islands to wind down before the long flight home and an Australian summer.
I thank you for your interest in my ramblings over the past few months, I hope they've been of some interest. As much fun as I've had, it will be good to be home to see you all again, and please catch up for a beer. Till Europe, Kane (Arry)

25/09/04
Hello all, Well after a sad and drunken exit from Barton on Humber, I now swing into the role of full time tourist.  
At the moment it consists of a lot of travelling, drinking and very little sleep. So I guess you could say I am starting to get ready for normal life back home.
So much to tell, so little time. We had a ball in Scotland, driving up to Edinburgh the first day. I fell in love with the place, the history literally is layer upon layer in the centre, with the highlight being a tour under current buildings to see underground streets centuries old almost in the same condition as when they were built over.
Then it was off to Stirling, to walk the battlefields of Bannockburn where great wars led by William Wallace and Robert the Bruce held back the English onslaught. And Rayner is right, the Wallace statue does look a lot like Mel Gibson.
We cruised back through the Lake District of Birchy's motherland Lancashire before one last blast around Barton before flying from Manchester to Dublin in less time than it takes to walk from the Termo to the Astor (well post 3am anyway). Didn't stay in Dublin, preferred to head straight east to Galway after a night with Karen's friend in Athlone, then on to Doolin and the Cliffs of Moher, down to Killarney, through Cork and Waterford, and now in Kilkenny, who are celebrating their junior and senior hurling premierships.
And if you noticed most of those names are discreet references to alcohol, you can paint your own picture there.
I am settling down to Guinness rather nicely, and to sound like a real tourist it does taste different to that stuff they serve at the  New Albury. But don't worry Hayesy, England win the World Cup of worst tasting Guinness.  
But the beauty of Irish pubs is the music, both from the hired variety, but more so from the locals who do impromptu when the band has a break. Chills down the spine every time. Anyway, we head back to Dublin for the weekend, before flying out to Paris just as the All Ireland Gaelic Football final starts on Sunday, which I'm not too fussed as it could have been messy to hang around and watch in a pub somewhere.
Hope everyone is well, can someone let me know when Collingwood loses another Grand Final ASAP. Till France, Kane.

6/10/04
Hello, Yes the juggernaught around Europe still rolls on, where I have finally found my spiritual home, Munich.
It all started with the overnight train from Paris, and we arrived at 9am to no idea as to which way to go. I noticed at the train station that you could buy beer at that time of the morning, so I felt at ease straight away.
But I digress, I must first mention that our weekend in Dublin was superb, and the ensuing days in Paris were great. I enjoyed what sights Paris had to offer, and find it hard to know which was a better view, Blackpool Tower in England or the Eiffel Tower. The French were reasonably nice people once they got over the fact that not everyone speaks French, Je suis desolee je nes comprehends was used a lot.
That brings us back to Germany and it's wonderful food, clean city streets, safe and reliable transport and very friendly people. But the highlight of Munich was to see it pulsing at it's finest time - Oktoberfest. I thought I knew what it was about, but nothing could have prepared us for the enormity of it all.
Fair dinkum, it is the world beer drinking Grand Final, where beer is not drunk by the glass but by the litre. The gates open at 10am and from about lunchtime if you're not sitting down don'expect to get a beer til about 10pm that night. About 12 beer halls, with about 6000 people in each were spread amongst the biggest theme park you could imagine. It was wall to wall fun and not a spare seat anywhere. And the food was something else, very fresh and uncomplicated - about 15 types of meat all in bread. Not to mention the nuts,sweets,fruit,popcorn, and pretzels on steroids. The music was something else, with YMCA and John Denver getting a run in amongst traditional music.
After two days in Munich, we sought a quieter place called Schweinfurt - a very special place for me for a number of reasons. Firstly, it gave me the opportunity to meet relatives of mine for the first time, who were wonderfully kind people. Gerhard, Ulrike, and their 12 year old son Max were very giving of their time to point out some historical parts of Schweinfurt.
I gave Max a cricket ball and my cricket shirt, and it was funny trying to show him how to bowl (some would say I need to be shown still myself!!). Secondly, it was the home town of my late grandmother, and a very moving experience to visit her old home, walk the streets and playgrounds she did when she lived there. Thirdly, I was able to visit the grave of my great great grandparents, along with my grandmothers twin brother.
So after a wonderful weekend in Schweinfurt, we find ourselves with a day to kill in Munich, so we may actually have a look around town since we spent our last two days here all at Oktoberfest!! So we catch the train tonight and will find ourselves in Venice for a week in Italy!! Better go - getting the wind-up!! Ciao - Auf Weidersehen Kane

12/10/04
Hello again, I am writing from Rome where we will be spending the last of our three days here before catching the overnight train to Nice for a bit of wind down and roulette at Monaco.
After a long trip from Venice (all roads may lead to Rome, but the train goes via the cape), the sun shone brightly (again!) on our arrival to Rome. And Rome (roam!) we have, with my sandals copping a hiding the past couple of days (what else do you wear in the Eternal City?).
And the food and drink is not as nice as Germany, there seems to be an abundance of Italian restaurants here - you think someone would open a fish and chip shop for something different. It also seems a little unfair that all the street vendors have to be of African descent to sell their sunglasses, handbags, etc. What about if I wanted to??
Luckily you can buy Carlton merchandise here as regular as all the soccer stuff, I guess they wouldnt have sold too much back home again this year.
But if I can be serious for one minute, we got in late the first night so we decided an early bed and attack the city sights the next morning. Well, they say Rome wasnt built in a day, but I think we saw most of it on foot with about 9 hours of walking in wonderful warm weather!! I marvelled at the architecture of some of the old buildings in the Roman Forum, the Trevi Fountain, the Spanish Steps, Vatican City, and of course the Colosseum. I can see why it would have taken more than a day to build, especially if the Albury City Council were in charge of the building permits!!! Lets just say its lucky they werent around to knock on the head the amazing designs that have stood for 2000 years or more.
The thing that impresses me most about Ancient Rome is what a civilised place it must have been. Some of the old buildings that represented stadiums, shopping malls, public baths, etc must have been so far ahead of their time when first constructed, that even today their size, elegance, and foresight put a lot of modern structures based on the original principles in the shade.
Suffice to say the Colosseum was my favourite place of all. It was much bigger than I expected, and apparently held 40-70,000 people in its heyday. It is also credited with its clever design in getting as many people in and out of the stadium as quickly as possible. The AFL should have paid a visit here before building that thing at Docklands.
Ironically, the 21st century has slowed things down, as they now only use one entrance so the queue to get in was phenomenal. But it was well worth it.
So, we have a leisurely wander today after the hectic sightseeing has been done before we catch the overnight train to Nice for a couple of days, then make our way back to London for 4-6 days to lay low before a 6 day stay in Athens and the Greek Islands to really unwind before the long trip home on the 27th.
I will try to check in again to let you know we are still alive, if not I hope the Patties get off to a flyer. Send the scores through if you can.
I hear Matt Hayden got a few in Perth, typical left hand slogger.