by Roy Thomson
This ode is aimed at a team of renown
The C2 thirds from St Pat’s
Though not many chaps have trained the house down
They’ll all wear premiership hats!
Let’s start at the top with the bloke with the C
The master at inspiring team talks
He plots and he smoulders, cajoles and berates
And his run-up is almost a walk.
His phone-bill must take some reading
With the calls he’s been forced to make,
But he mustered a motley crew of some talent
And worked hard for the team’s and club’s sake.
With new-found maturity young Buddha now plays
A devoted student of cricket
Batting with flair (though he struggles for speed)
And two blokes even sold him their wicket
He’s learnt the new art of hitting balls low
He’s our second-best captain they say
He’ll only run three if he’s hit the shot
But he’ll streak down the straight on his day.
The old man of the team – the silver-haired fox
He can dance, but can’t bend and can’t throw,
But he’ll poke and he’ll prod with the bat in his hand
And his bowling is tossed up and slow.
Our keeper is Cam, a gun with the gloves,
He’s two minutes early most weeks.
A classy bat (unless he’s kept for the day)
Despite a bat with cracks and with creaks.
Our other Cam’s a tennis coach
He’s gone from strength to strength
He’ll only be late for his wife or the Wiggles
And he’s belted some sixes of length.
Eric, the Viking’s a bowler now.
He’s found his rhythm and line.
He bats with aggression and he threw up in Yack,
And his fielding and throwing are fine.
AD’s a club legend who’s played when we’re short-
A class act with the bat in his hand,
A droll commentator on life and the game-
But his grand-final performance was bland.
Young Chrissy will chase till the cows come home
But three catches went down in one day!
His bowling took lots of space in the book,
But his spirit was there on display.
Lewie, the lolly man, just loves the game,
He’s convinced every ball is a wicket.
His body’s susceptible to falling apart
And sometimes he dresses for cricket.
Young Jake’s played more games than most of the team.
He fields as a sub when required.
He collected the ball fees and took two wickets
And made sure that old Buddh won’t retire.
Noddy’s a leftie, he bats and he bowls.
At times his line and the pitch coincide.
He dropped, then he caught, young Jake’s first wicket.
Got fired up when called for some wides.
Psycho’s another tennis recruit.
He runs like a flash up the pitch,
Then back and then stops and then back again.
If he stuffs up he’s back ‘cross the ditch.
He’s a compere with thoughts on all parts of the game
He maintains his excitement all week
Brings warm Mint Slices from the Walwa store
His strap-on box is antique.
Marky turned up (the double-you man)
He’s handy with bat and with ball.
When not off coaching OS or courting,
He’s given the team his all.
The General’s arrived with his gardening mates.
With ball and with bat he shows guts.
Likes bowling with pills that have no shine,
Drives fast and can catch with his nuts.
Culphy’s forehand and pull-shot are equal.
He’ll field at first slip, but won’t bowl.
(Tell that to the guys whose wickets he took).
His grand final showed total control.
Other guys came and lent us their talents
Like Trouter who bowled pretty well.
His head-band scared him a wicket first ball-
His first off a long dry spell.
Joey was keen. He hurled himself ‘round,
But couldn’t quite bowl a good length.
Lemonade did his bit with bat and with gloves
But scoring singles for Buddh’s not his strength.
Bruto came back and whipped up a storm
With Paul Adams’s patented action.
Young Jonesy and Bennie, Ellwood and Young
Gave the team some youth and some traction.
Alby’s presence was valued a lot.
He fielded in two of our games,
Facing the bowler for most of the overs
And backing up like a bloke who’s gone lame.
So there we have it- a mob with great heart-
Well-led and well-balanced it seems
With a season that featured some lows and great highs
St Pat’s is proud of its premiership team!
R Thompson 25-3-13